Sick of the Courtroom - Sick of Life

by Solomon
(England)

I've been out of shape for the past 4 years, I spent a good two years practicing Kyokushin Karate, at 16 I had to stop because I began smoking heavily and lost my form, I just couldn't keep up anymore people I used to be able to spar against easily were getting the better of me I'd get far too tired, you know how it goes. I guess I stopped because I wanted to focus on my grades as well, something I have been quite successful at. I'm 21 and I'm studying Law at a decent university, I'm on the debate team and when it comes to mooting (mock-trials) I can be quite merciless.

Recently though, things haven't been going my way and part of this is because I've realised that words are meaningless, semantics don't satisfy me anymore I've argued for abortion and argued against it the next day I've listened to other people do the same about a range of issues, arguing just seems to have lost all meaning for me it's not about what I'm arguing for anymore or what anybody else is arguing for we're nothing but a bunch of smooth talkers.

My frustrations seem to have peaked into a strange sort of sadism, I want to hurt people I just want to hit something I feel like it's more meaningful than just writing an essay or winning a case.

Last week I decided to quit smoking for good and sign up to box, It's going to be extremely difficult getting back in form again, I just hope I can overcome this anger.